Sunday, January 28, 2007
I'm not going to deny that the previous two posts inspired me to write this one, lol. They did, and it's a good thing I think, to reflect on how the past year has been for everyone, especially my own particularly complicated experience.
Honestly, I joined around exactly a year ago mainly because of Sim Xinming (haha), but that's not to say that innately, I didn't have the admiration that our seniors made serving the college the bulk of their non-academic life.
One year on, I realise that I actually joined the family for vastly many different reasons not necessarily known to even myself last January; reasons that began to surface only after I started my first training sessions under the seniors, did my first morning assembly duty, joined the exco, and during the December holiday events leading to this year.
Yet even amongst everything, I'm still proud to say that I have never strayed from that which is our ultimate job: to serve the college, and have fun while doing it.
Admittedly, I ought to have allowed myself to have more fun. I now realise that for a large part of my past year I only had fun as a result of my commitment and obligations, and never really took it as it is, nor relished in it, nor made it grow. I had always taken my satisfaction from our successes in events, and our ability to brave the darkest of storms, but seldom from the journeys that we made together to achieve these.
I seldom took the time to reflect on my part in the progress of things; only the actual outcome.
But when I do now, I hope it isn't too late that I realise I may be indispensable, but I'm not, by a long shot, close to being everything.
If I began to dish out apologies to the family on the fact that I may have encroached into more responsibility, rose into more prominence, and accepted more personal duty than I ought to, then I shall have to spend the next five months accomplishing that, and nothing else. If I did, then I would also be apologising for emotional stress I caused, as even though I take my own sadness with a pinch of salt, I cannot be so selfish to say that it is also true for others.
Instead, I hope that PA takes things in their stride. Disagreements come and go, and I feel that they are crucial to our continued success.
Because of that, I have never taken our arguments, or our disagreements, on a personal level.
Also because of that, I feel that I wouldn't, if given the chance, do anything different from what define my experience in PA. I'm not ashamed to reflect on my many failures, or give myself a pat on the back for my successes, because these happy times and sad times are what have made all of us grow as more mature people we never thought we were before 2006.
And so I hope that everyone in the family cherishes this learning experience, which would never be complete if it wasn't for all the regret and disappointment, piled onto all the happiness and satisfaction.
I will continue to make serving the college the centre of my commitment, and if I haven't been a QM, or a crewmember in general, as good as I wished, I will continue to improve.
For all who care to know, your QM, even after all this reflection, continues to appreciate if you don't litter the control, put cables on windshields, lose flexis, forget to fill out equipment logs, leave batteries in cordless mics, etc.
But he will continue, as he has done for six months, pack your equipment before events, unpack them after, remove cables from on top of windshields, sweep the control floor, place stuff where they belong, and just in general, make the hall control where it is our cosy room, as neat, tidy and cosy as possible.
If he ever complains out loud, which he does every now and then, please don't take it personally. It's a vice that is not easily corrected, even if he has been striving to work more silently than he has been.
Because I feel that above being a member of PA, and an exco member, I'm ultimately here to ensure that PA runs as smoothly as possible.
I'm ultimately here to be more a servant than a leader, and I'm proud of it.
If I may have taken more responsibilities than I ought to, then that's one responsibility I will certainly keep.
pa oiii! (: 9:46 PM;
posted by Ivan (:
life as a PA crew.
haha.. just suddenly want to write out what i feel.. (:
life as a njPA crew, is both a privilege and a burden.
As a PA crew, we are privileged as teachers look highly on us. We are well respected by both teachers and student when we are doing our job as a PA crew. No doubt, being a PA crew, we will have fun. We will have a lot of fun as one family. Spending time together as a family, at free times, at trainings, at basketball sessions, at control room, at rehearsals, at events, anytime, we will have fun.
But I just want to tell you all that njPA have a high standard among teachers and students in school. We are professional in what we do, we are excellent in our field, we, as a pa crew, must be there to support anything that is connected to our field of specialty. Our high standards do not come from nowhere. Our seniors, our ancestors, have done their part to raise the standard and to maintain the professionalism of PA as a cca. In case you don’t know, teachers look highly on PA as a cca, as well as its crew. They depend on us when any trouble comes. They need our support, that’s why they respect us as a crew, and to continue to be respected as a cca, we in our part, must be dependable, we must be able to solve the problem that the teacher gave us, whether it is a spoilt projector, or just simply never switch on the mics. We, must not depend on other people to solve a problem that we are supposed to be able to solve. After looking at this requirement, some of us or most of us, including me will be worried. Scared, that we are not able to do that. Or we don’t have the skill.
Here, is where the word ‘crew’ come into the context. As I have said, we have to meet certain requirement and standards that our seniors have given to us, therefore we are expected to be able to solve things ourselves. But, we are a crew. There is no ‘me’ but only ‘us’. If we cannot solve a problem, there are others that we can rely on. We are one crew. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses. We can depend on others on things that we can’t do. This way, our standard in the eyes of the teacher and peers never drop. We are able to solve things and work things out because we are one team, one crew. Don’t give up when you can’t make a picture show up in the projector screen. Try your best. Ask your PA mates, your seniors. There is a lot of things that we can’t do ourselves. But there is nothing that we can’t do as one crew.
So actually the burden I’m talking about here is the high standard that our seniors have achieved and we are supposed to maintain. It is not a burden anymore if we can help each other to reach this requirement (: no need to worry because you are a PA personnel but you can’t do what you are expected to do. The crew will be there to help you, to help you learn more about PA (:
FLOP or CAN’T FLOP
In exco meetings, we always come to a discussion whether we can flop an event or we can’t flop an event. I, being the supporter of the latter of the argument, want to clarify some things or misconception (:
First thing that is becoming an issue now is about letting the J1s do the morning assembly just after one basic training. Last year, for us, we are given one week to stand up there to observe what our seniors do. But this year, we are going to let the J1s (and new IPs) do without observing the seniors 1st. The main reason why we do this is because the JAE is coming soon and we want to give the new people chance to do before some of them leave. Of course, the trouble comes when we think that the J1s, not having the chance to watch their seniors do morning assembly, may flop during their turn. Not saying that the seniors never flop or won’t flop, but this thing must be taken into consideration.
During our meetings and discussion, some of the excos will say that it’s okay to flop. And others will reply with, “its okay to flop?! We can’t flop!” and this discussion never meet a conclusion as some of us will just accept, but silently cursing in their head.
If PA were a sport CCA.
I will say that their training sessions is equal to our training session, plus everyday when we are at control asking things that we are unsure of. During a basketball training session, if one can’t do something, others won’t scold, won’t blame that person. This goes the same to PA. During our trainings, go ahead and make mistakes! Its your best chance to improve and make mistakes. When we are slacking at control room. Go ahead and ask things u don’t know to your seniors! We wont scold you, we wont even give you any slight gesture that you are disturbing us. In the other hand, we feel happy when people want to learn more about PA and trying to improve.
A friendly match is equal to our rehearsals. Do your best and its okay to make mistakes. Actually I shouldn’t say its okay to make mistakes, because we have a standard to follow and try your best not to make, don’t be scared to ask, don’t be scared to do events, and go ahead make your mistakes that will make you improve. What important is that, don’t you ever dare to be scared to do things.
A real match! Say nationals, or whatever important matches, is equal to our events! All the events, not just big events. This goes the same to morning assembly, principals dialogue or whatever during the CAAL period. Is our important match! Everything we do will be seen by public. Principals, teachers, students, and everybody will notice if we flop and their view to us may change. And all the efforts that our seniors have made will be wasted if just one batch of PA crew, seems to do nothing right. When it comes to the nationals, will your coach say that “its okay if u make mistakes, all your shots never go in also nevermind. People steal from you also nevermind.”? Maybe, lousy teams will do that, anyway they got nothing to lose if they lose. But u need to know that njPA is not a lousy PA crew, we are professionals. We have achieved a high standard that we must maintain. Like VJC soccer team won’t say “its okay if you score an own goal” “its okay if we lose” before their match, we also will say “lets do our best to not flop during events!”
Some of us may have the misconception that our event is a small thing that you can compare to a sport cca training. But it is not. It is our real stage. The choice to flop or don’t flop never come to our mind before we do an event. That’s why some of us really stand firm to our stand when people say “nevermind if flop” because if we say that, we are giving people choice to flop and that, we don’t want. We must keep our standards high and flopping is never a choice.
Now, you may think that there is a large burden you must carry, even just to walk to adjust the micstand during morning assembly because we say, we can’t flop. But again, we never work as individuals, we work as a crew, as a team. Even if one of us do something wrong to the micstand, others will still help to correct is because we are one crew. Individuals can flop, but as a whole crew, we can’t and we know that we won’t flop.
So, again, we always say that “We cant flop” this doesn’t mean that we are giving a large responsibility to you, or a large burden to you until you are scared to do events. Or you are scared to even come to morning assembly because you don’t know what to do or you surely will flop. What I can say is just that, there is no need to be scared to do events, there is no need to be scared to do wrong things, there is no need to feel guilty if you do the wrong things. The only thing you need to know is just learn from your mistakes and become better! Other than that, you got the WHOLE PA CREW ON YOUR BACK supporting you! (:
And just to give you a little more courage, nothing happen if you flop! You wont be blamed for your lifetime, you wont be kicked out of the cca, the CCO will still choose you to do events. (she never say, don’t choose this one, cos always flop) in the other hand, we can see that you are willing to learn. Just like after a match. If a team lose, we always say, “Okay nevermind, we lose this time, but we will win next time!” that’s what we say also! You may screw up this time, but the next time, you will be better than anyone else. Notice that eventhough first we say that we cant flop, whatever the result may be, we will accept it and don’t blame anybody. Just gather your courage to make mistakes!
To end this, I just want to say that, please, don’t don’t apply for events just because you are scared that you don’t know some things that you are supposed to know. Ask. We will guide you with all of our capability. We can learn from each other. Don’t be ashamed to tell people that you can’t do certain things because others will have their weaknesses too. We can only improve if we realise our weakness and try to overcome it. Don’t be scared to ask. We are one crew.
So, its not easy to be a PA crew! (: a lot of determination, a lot of patience, a lot of courage, a lot of willingness to make mistakes, and a lot of teamwork is needed! The most important thing is to learn from your mistakes, not running away from them. Being a PA crew is not just for the CIP hours or for the fun of it. Being a pa crew is not about achievement. Being a PA crew is not about recognition. Being a PA crew is not about slacking and gaining CCA points. Being a PA crew is not about getting free ticket to concerts. Being a PA crew is about commitment, Being a PA crew is about service, Being a PA crew is about learning. Being a PA crew is being a hero without recognition. So, do you have what it takes to be a PA crew? We don’t just make friends in PA crew. We make a small and cosy family (:
(sorry that the post is very long, im open to discussions here! (: )
pa oiii! (: 9:36 PM;
posted by dhika (:
it has been one year since i entered this small and cosy family..
baah just feel like writing what i've been feeling and thinking about in this family..maybe not all..just some (:
what actually inspired me to join PA?
baah sad to say, the answer is actually sim xin ming =x haha okay lar, like 30%? then the remaining reason is because i did lights and sounds when i was in rv eldds. so i thought, i could learn much more about lights and sounds in njc pa, and i did.
throughout this one year, there has been a mixture of emotions and feelings, at least for me.
tears, laughters, exhaustion, pressure, stress, fun, satisfaction, uncertainties, disappointment, and much more. all these feelings may not mean any sense to you all..but i feel that i've grown alot eversince i joined pa. im not sure if im better in managing my emotions than before, because i dont know how to make comparisons between then and now. baah. okay, joining basketball does not affect my life in pa, and i promise it definitely will not. pa is not just my cca. and im serious about it. i've learnt so much about myself and other people through pa. i've made more friends, you all, all other cca people and even teachers as my friends. i've known so much about myself, my weaknesses, my inabilities and my vulnerabilities. it is through knowing myself that i can learn much more. pa has brought to me many many treasures in my life, but what i've brought to pa seems to be nothing except trouble and maybe some small little forms of commitment which ought to come from me. i will leave pa someday, when that day comes, we'll handover to a brand new executive committee, and i will hold high hopes that this executive committee will bring pa to greater heights. but pa will not leave me, i know this for sure. it is my family, im not sure how many of you have this kind of feeling. but i dont care about the cca points and the many cip hours that i will get in pa, though looking at such statistics give a sense of satisfaction. but, whats more important is i've gained more than these statistics. i have memories, experience and a sense of belonging that i will bring along with me when i hand over.
the road that all of us take, when we're in pa, will not be a smooth one. especially for the ips, they have to walk a further road than all of us, cos most of them will be in this cca for like 2-3 years? please do not give up. i know i do not have this right to urge you all not to give up. but please dont. obstacles make us stronger, and mistakes make us learn. we may meet up with hiccups such as disagreements with fellow family members, events with floppy equipment, or even times when we are so unsure of ourselves..but be sure that, someone or perhaps everyone from pa will be there for you (: help each other out, understand each other more. we're a cca, we're a team and most importantly, we're a family. family members dont give up on one another (: Being in pa has been a very nice experience for me, there is nothing much to do in the hall control, but it is the sense of belonging which made me want to stay on. there are so many events in which we have to cope, but we have one another to rely on (: there are so many conflicts that we have to manage, but most of the times we ended up being understanding towards one another. there are so many worries that we have in pa, and most of the times we share them (: i like the feeling of being in pa, cos i know i will have something to fall back on..there may be changes since last year, but im learning to cope with the changes, and this is part of my pa life too (:
i have so much more to say, so many apologizes to make, so many thanks to give but i feel this is not the time yet. but then, let me clear one point. my decision to join basketball has minimum relation with my life in pa. and to me, pa and basketball are two different matters. and im learning to juggle both with the same amount of time that i had last year. please dont ask why i join, just know that it has nothing much to do with pa. (:
from now till handover (or even till forever), i will do my best for pa, and i hope you do too.
(: this is about it.
pa oiii! (: 3:30 PM;
posted by njc public address (: (:
Friday, January 19, 2007
hi! long time since i posted again! mwahaha my internet is down again!! zzz blahhh haha but anyway today is friday 190107! hahaha and its disney concert today! 1st concert of the year..and tmr we will get to see our new J1s! mwahahaha so nice right! we must be high and make them love pa sooo much! hahaha anyway for those who derno..tmr we're meeting 730 in the hall control..hahaha be punctual k else yibo the games ic will scold!! mwahaha. hmm and we'll be going out for lunch..so bring money and change of clothes if u want (: yeah cya all tmr!
;D shihui
pa oiii! (: 1:39 PM;
posted by njc public address (: (:
